Prince George: "Some fellow said that I had the wit and sophistication of a donkey!"
Blackadder: "Oh an absurd suggestion sir... unless it was a particularly stupid donkey."

Miggins:  "Bonjour, monsieur."
Edmund:  "What?"
Miggins:  "Bonjour, monsieur -- it's French."
Edmund:  "So is eating frogs, cruelty to geese and urinating in the street,
                but that's no reason to inflict it on the rest of us."

Edmund: "That globulous fraud, Dr. Johnson, is coming to tea."
Baldrick: "I thought he was the cleverest man in England."
Edmund: "Baldrick, I'd bump into cleverer people at a lodge meeting of the Guild of Village Idiots."

Edmund: "I believe, sir, that the Doctor (Johnson) is trying to tell you that he is happy because he has 
               finished his book (the dictionary). It has, apparently, taken him ten years."
Prince George: "Yes, well, I'm a slow reader myself..."
Johnson: "Here it is, sir: the very cornerstone of English scholarship. This book, sir, contains every word in our beloved language."
Prince George: "Hmm."
Edmund: "Every single one, sir?"
Johnson: (confidently) "Every single word, sir!"
Edmund: (to Prince) "Oh, well, in that case, sir, I hope you will not object if I also offer the Doctor my most enthusiastic contrafribblarities."
Johnson: "What?"
Edmund: "`Contrafribblarites', sir? It is a common word down our way."
Johnson: "Damn!" (writes in the book)

Prince George: "I must say, Blackadder, that was a close shave! Why on earth would an anarchist possibly want to kill *you*?"
Edmund:  "I think it might've been *you* he was after, sir."
Prince George: "Oh hogwash! What on earth makes you say that?"
Edmund: "Well, my suspicions were first aroused by his use of the words, "Death to the stupid Prince!"

Hardwood: "Ay up! Who's this big girl's blouse then?
Amy:  "Father, this is Mr. Blackadder, he's come a-wooing from the Prince."
Edmund:  "You have a beautiful and charming daughter, sir."
Hardwood:  "Indeed I do. I love her more than any pig, and that's saying summat!"
Edmund:  "It certainly is."
Hardwood:  "And let me tell you, I'd no more place her in the hands of an unworthy man than I'd place my 
                    John Thomas in the hands of a lunatic with a pair of scissors."
Edmund:  "An attitude that does you credit sir."

Edmund: "Baldrick, what are you doing out there?"
Baldrick: "I'm carving something on this bullet sir."
Edmund: "What are you carving?"
Baldrick: "I'm carving "Baldrick", sir."
Edmund: "Why?"
Baldrick: "It's a cunning plan actually."
Edmund:  "Of course it is."
Baldrick: "You see, you know they say that somewhere there's a bullet with your name on it?"
Edmund: "Yes?"
Baldrick: "Well, I thought if I owned the bullet with my name on it, I'd never get hit by it, 'cos I won't ever shoot myself."
Edmund: "Oh, shame."

Edmund: "What do you want, Darling?"
Darling: "It's Captain Darling to you."

George: "you know what would cheer you up, alot of Charlie Chaplin films. Oh, I love Old Chappers, don't you, Cap?"
Edmund: "Unfortuately no I don't. I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and discovering there's a gas bill tied to it."
George: "Ah, beg pardon, sir, but come off! His films are ball-bouncingly funny."
Edmund: "Rubbish!"
George: "Alright, why let's consult the men for a casting vote, shall we? Baldrick?"
Baldrick: "Sir!"
George: "Charlie Chaplin, Baldrick. What do you make of him?"
Baldrick: "Oh sir, he's as funny as a vegetable that's grown into a rude and amusing shape, sir."
Edmund: "So you agree with me. Not at all funny?"

Edmund: "I spy with my bored little eye something beginning with `T'."
Baldrick: "Breakfast!"
Edmund: "What?"
Baldrick: "My breakfast always begins with tea, and I have a little sausage, and a egg with some little soldiers."
Edmund: "Baldrick, when I said it begins with `T', I was talking about a letter."
Baldrick: "Nah, it never begins with a letter; the postman don't come 'til 10.30."
Edmund: "I can't go on with this. (stands) George, take over."
George: "All right, sir. Erm, I spy with my litle eye something beginning with `R'."
Baldrick: (raises his arm, even though he's the only one playing now) "Army!"
Edmund: "For God's sake, Baldrick! `Army' starts with an `A'. He's looking for something that starts with an `R'. RRRrrrrr!"
Baldrick: "Motorbike!"
Edmund: "What?"
Baldrick: "A motorbike starts with a `RRRRRrrrrrrrrrm! RRRRRRrrrrrrrrrr--'"
Edmund: "All right, right, right, right. My turn again. What begins with `Come here' and ends with `Ow'?"
Baldrick: "I don't know."
Edmund: "Come here."
               (Baldrick moves closer to Edmund; Edmund punches Baldrick in the face)
Baldrick: "Ow!" (falls to the ground)
Edmund: "Well done."
George: "No (laughs), I don't think you've quite got the hang of this game, to be honest, sir. "

Edmund: "Mm, I think you might be under a slight misapprehension here, Nurse. I lost closer friends than `Darling Georgy' the last time I was
               deloused. Now, if you will excuse me, I've got better things to do than exchange pleasantries with a wet blanket. Would you get out?"

Baldrick: "Still, I tell you what, sir, you might have a chance to get to know that pretty nurse."
Edmund: "No, thank you, Baldrick. She's as wet as a fish's wet bits. I'd rather get to know you."
Baldrick: "I'm not available, sir. I'm waiting for Miss Right to come along and gather me up in her arms."
Edmund: "Yes, I wouldn't be too hopeful; we'd have to get her arms out of a straightjacket first. Now get packing!"

Baldrick: "I, too, have a cunning plan to catch the spy, sir."
Edmund: "Do you, Baldrick, do you..."
Baldrick: "You go round the hostipal and ask everyone, "Are you a German spy?"
Edmund: "Yes, I must say, Baldrick, I appreciate your involvement on the creative side."
Baldrick: "If it was me, I'd own up."
Edmund: "Of course you would. But, sadly, the enemy have not added to the German Army Entrance Form the requirement 
               "Must have intellectual capacity of a boiled potato."